i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
