By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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