It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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