textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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