saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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