I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Drake has all the answers
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
