dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
