if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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