I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
