how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
