so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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