oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
now i know why i became what i already was.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize