Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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