Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
