I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
