At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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