You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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