I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
