im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize