Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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