I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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