god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
