Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
