My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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