I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
