How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
