I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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