No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize