i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
