'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize