I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize