I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
