She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
