she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
