I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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