So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
