There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
operation harelip BJ is a go
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
