I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize