Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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