I don't usually arrange sex via text message
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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