I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
