We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
