We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
