hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
