Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
