i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
