***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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