I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Too much gin, very little bucket
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
