i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
