plz talk dirty to me
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
