By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He did a backflip because drugs
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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