My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
