someone get that fucking seahorse.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
