Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
