Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
