Do vagina's smell?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I can't put those talents on a resume
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
