You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
