I'm so fucking centered right now
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
