this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
